Continued from the previous entry. Originally from the January 2003 Ohio Maltese Rescue newsletter.

It is now Christmas Eve 2002. I had caught Ruby to do her ears and nails. She looks like she has something caught on her lips, a fuzzball or something. I pull the fuzz out of her mouth and notice she is drooling. Unusual. I look in her mouth, and my heart sinks. There is a lump growing on her gum on the left side of her mouth, pretty good sized. It looks like it is starting to get infected. I start her on antibiotics right away, knowing we won't be able to see the vet until Thursday the 26th. If it's an infection, then we should be able to see a difference in two days. But I have a feeling it probably is not just infection.

Thursday comes, and the infection is definitely less, but the lump is the same size. I watch the vet's face as she looks in Ruby's mouth. Not good. It is almost assuredly cancer. The vet feels it is probably down into the jawbone, a very fast-growing and aggressive type of cancer, squamous cell. We discuss the options, but they are few. Ruby will not take pills in food, you have to push them down her throat. Injections would just mean we would have to catch her often, and then hurt her. Surgery followed by chemo and radiation would be torture for her, and she is very old. My daughter Morgan and I look at each other, knowing what the other is thinking. We don't want to have to choose. But for Ruby's sake, for her comfort and her dignity, we know it is time to let her go. The vet gives her a shot of morphine to help Ruby be calm and a bit woozy. We don't want a struggle when it is time for the final needle, especially with her fear of being handled. We are alone in the room with her until the shot takes effect. Her eyes glaze a little, and she noticeably relaxes. I am stroking her head, and for the first time ever, she seems to like it. She closes her eyes halfway, and leans into my hand. I am so glad that just this one time, I can touch her and she will accept that comfort. I know we are choosing the right thing, but it is so hard. The vet comes back, and it is time. The pink medicine goes into the vein, and she gives just a little sigh, and lets go. We are crying. But the tears can't last too long. We are so very glad that we were able to give her that one year of freedom, one year of warm, and cozy, and friends, and all the food and water she could want. To have had the honor of knowing her and loving her.

You can see before and after pics of our Ruby at http://www.geocities .com/ohiomalteserescue/ruby.html

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